maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
