i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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