I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
