Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
