The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
