Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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