sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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