Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
