I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
