the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
