Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I need to stop coming to work sober
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
