Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
