hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
