when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
