...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
