So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
