When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
