she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
