Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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