my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Bring me that man meat
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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