:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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