Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
