I'm so fucking centered right now
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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