halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
