bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
