i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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