i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
