Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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