I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
