Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
