Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
