Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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