...so i touched it.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
