so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Less talking, more tequila
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
