Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
In America we eat man semen.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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