I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
