Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
