I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
