Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
