Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
