She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
