It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
