How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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