I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
