i don't like sucking hair
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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