I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
