By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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