party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
