i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
