everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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