how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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