he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
